Table of Contents
6 things women need to stop doing if they want to find love
1. Quit being so reliant on others.
There is no quicker way to lose a man than to demonstrate that you require him. The desire for a guy is not the same as the requirement for one. In neediness, you are in a state of mind in which you feel incomplete or that you have an emotional emptiness, and you want to fill this empty space with a relationship or male approval.
Lots of women mistakenly believe that a man’s resistance to neediness indicates that he is adverse to commitment, or that he is a “commitment-phobe.” They consider a man’s unwillingness to enter into an unbalanced relationship a problem and categorize him as one of a group of guys who are incapable of loving.
Men, on the other hand, are not averse to making long-term commitments (at least, the majority are not). Having a lady who recognizes and appreciates him for the person he is would make a man very happy in his relationship. On the other hand, a guy will avoid a woman who believes that he is the only way for her to feel good about herself or to validate her existence.
A man wants to believe that he has been selected by a woman whom he has earned by his activities. If he feels like he’s just filling a void that could have easily been filled by any other man with a pulse, he’ll do anything to avoid it. The majority of the time, men who give up on dating are simply giving up on the sensation of neediness they get from women who are energized and ready to jump right into a relationship.
Neediness is typically caused by a lack of self-esteem or a sense of one’s own value. There is something missing within you or in your life, and you begin to believe that a relationship would provide the solution.
Throughout the event if you were miserable prior to the relationship, you will continue to be dissatisfied in it. Spend your time working on your connection with yourself rather than feeling sorry for yourself because you’re single. Make an effort to be your best self, both physically and mentally.
It is impossible to keep men away when you are becoming the best of yourself that you possibly can be!
2. Quit looking for love and start learning to appreciate yourself.
You must first learn to love yourself, or else you will never be able to accept the fact that anyone else can love you as well. If you’re often plagued by negative ideas such as “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” or “Why isn’t anyone interested in me?” ask yourself whether or not you actually love yourself.
We believe that there must be something wrong with the males who are truly interested in us, and we yearn for the guys who don’t seem to care or seem uninterested in us. When you are unable to find love, it is frequently an indication of your inability to love yourself.
Because if you don’t sincerely like and love yourself, you will never be able to accept the fact that another person can love you.
The most important thing you can do to attract love is to put yourself in a positive frame of mind and be open to receiving it. If you don’t appreciate yourself, you’ll choose someone who doesn’t treat you well because, deep down, you don’t value yourself as much as you think you should.
In general, what attracts like attracts like. Consider how you feel about yourself and how you treat yourself in your everyday life if you want to figure out what kind of guy will fall for you.
If you are emotionally unavailable, you will be attracted to a man who is also inaccessible emotionally. Now, you can desire to be in a relationship while also being unavailable in your own way, which is perfectly acceptable. If you’re frightened of getting injured or believe that the men you like constantly leave you, it’s possible that you’re subconsciously erecting barriers to keep yourself safe.
Afterwards, if the guy ends up leaving or failing to provide you with the emotional aspect you desire, this serves to support your negative belief, and the cycle continues to recur.
Consider the following question: Would I want to date myself?
What exactly do you intend to offer to the table? If you want a man who is emotionally healthy, confident, and secure, you must ensure that your own attributes are mirrored at the same degree. After all, why would a person like that want to spend his time with someone who is an insecure emotional wreck? If you want to attract that positive type of guy, you must first establish yourself as that type of female.
You’ll see an immediate improvement in your love life as soon as you get to that place where you’re being your most authentic self and reflecting the traits you desire.
3. Stop pretending to be someone else.
So many women get into the trap of trying to fit into a stereotype or act a certain way in order to attract the right guy. Maybe it’s because of societal conditioning, or maybe it’s because we don’t feel good enough on the inside. However, you won’t be able to create a true relationship with someone if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not or trying to suit a man’s ideal notion of the type of woman he wants.
There is story of a lady who had great success in life. She appeared polished and composed but her dating life has been a series of ups and downs. “No one wants to date me,” she said one day, and after conversing with her, the problem was figured out.
Because she pretended her life was so immaculate and impenetrable that no guy could penetrate the iron façade, there was no actual connection. They felt like she had erected a barrier between them and her, as if there was no room for them in her life, and they couldn’t attach that way.
Being seen, known, and vulnerable are all aspects of love. Now, we are not saying you should air your dirty laundry on the table, but you should progressively peel back some of your layers and learn about him as a distinct individual.
Allow this to unfold gradually. This is not the moment to throw your hands up and scream, “Will I ever find the one?” when you don’t instantly click with a guy like the movies show. Take your time and take pleasure in the process.
4. Refrain From Making A Victim Out Of Yourself.
This isn’t meant to be a criticism of you in any way. When it comes to my lack of a romantic life, I play the victim and place the blame on everyone and everything but myself.
The only reason you’re single is because of some nefarious plot to keep you from finding love. Happily married couples aren’t swarming across your path, tormenting you and making you wonder whether everyone else is lucky enough to discover love.
It’s far easier to absolve yourself of blame by making up a story in your head. “It’s possible that each and every man you meet has a partner”. “Online daters are all jerks, weirdos, or creeps in some way”. “As a result of your mother and father’s separation, you no longer have faith in love or in the ability of a healthy relationship to endure”. Its mostly in your head.
Remember this: Things happen in our lives over which we have no control. These things can have a significant impact on our lives, but we have the choice of how we react to them.
I’m a big fan of the adage, “If you meet a jerk in the morning, you’ve already met a jerk. If you spend your entire day dealing with jerks, you’re the jerk.
Here’s the best part: you get to choose your own destiny. Do you see yourself as a heroic heroine or a helpless victim? What kind of person would you like to be? Which one makes you feel most comfortable?
5. Don’t bring your previous relationship baggage to current as it will hurt you.
The majority of women are completely ignorant of all the ways our history can seep into the present—and even into their future—if steps are not taken to prevent it.
Perhaps you simply haven’t gotten over your ex and find yourself thinking about him all the time. Alternatively, you may consciously compare every guy you meet to your ex, so destroying any possible relationship. Perhaps your ex caused you significant harm from which you have not entirely recovered or are even aware of the extent to which you have been harmed.
Consider whether you’ve been harmed in the past and whether you can recognize any old scars that you’re still carrying around with you today. Consider how you viewed the scenario at the time, and see if you can identify any erroneous views you may have created about yourself as a result of your experience.
Then take whatever steps are necessary to rectify the situation. The process isn’t always simple, but it’s well worth it, and you’ll notice a significant shift in your perspective instead of constantly wondering, “Why can’t I meet someone who loves me?”
6. Put an end to your stress.
Stressing is one of the most common things that women do in their relationships. You worry, You stress, and You conjure up all kinds of nightmarish scenarios in order to fool yourselves into believing that you are “prepared” for them if and when they really occur.
Stressing practically destroys everything. You must regain control of your thoughts; you must not allow anxious thoughts to take over your life, since this will ruin your life and prevent you from building a meaningful connection with your partner.
Instead of embracing the fact that you will never find love, focus on getting your stress under control and looking forward to the day when you do discover someone special. When has worrying over anything ever resulted in you getting what you wanted?
Things that make men feel terrible and pressure them out are repulsive to them. All that men desire is to be comfortable and happy. You stressing out over the status of your relationship or love life on a regular basis is not an attractive characteristic that will attract guys to you. It simply consumes all of your mental energy and does nothing!
Have trust that things will work out for you; do not entertain any notions to the contrary! “Will anybody ever love me?” you won’t have to weep anymore. “Will I ever be able to find someone?”
Having said that, the most important thing to remember is to relax and be content with yourself. If things work out with this individual, that’s fantastic! If not, that is quite ok as well! It simply makes room for the next, better person to come into your life and take his place.