Finally, Lamborghini Made an Asshole Phone
Introducing the “Alpha-One,” a $2,450 luxury smartphone that is the ideal gift for that special someone in your life who cannot afford a Lamborghini but enjoys dressing and accessorizing like they can:
Moreover, according to the Verge, this ridiculous money-hole masquerading as a phone boasts “the most luxurious technology”—roughly similar specifications to a high-end smartphone that costs less than a third of the sticker price—as well as a “liquid metal” frame, “Italian handmade black leather,” and the Tonino Lamborghini Raging Bull logo, which represents “strength, courage, determination, and boldness.”
It does come with a leather phone case as well as a cord, but there is no adapter because, well, because.
According to the Verge, the following is the complete feature set:
Display with a resolution of 2560×1440 pixels on a 5.5-inch WQHD screen.
It is powered by a Qualcomm Snapdragon 820 processor running Android Nougat and has 4GB of RAM with 64GB of internal storage and an additional 128GB of expandable storage.
3-inch display with a 20-megapixel rear-facing camera and a front-facing camera with an 8-megapixel resolution, and a 3,250mAh battery
Support for two SIM cards
Scanner for fingerprints
I’m not going to lie, I’m not impressed. To pass for a genuine, living fake Lamborghini owner, you’re going to require a completely distinct set of features. Here are some recommendations:
Dispenser for Axe body spray
The app has a photo gallery pre-loaded with shots of your undoubtedly real Lambo, which is currently in the shop because you drove it too hard in an unplanned illegal street race, along the picturesque Sicilian coast. The app also has a reminder to contact your mother on laundry day.
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A wall adapter, since $2,450 does not appear to be sufficient compensation for a wall adaptor.
What the hell type of music do these phony Lamborghini drivers listen to? Is it the enigmatic DJ Pauly D? We’re going to go with DJ Pauly D. DJ Pauly D White House Communications Department parking permit QR code is included with the phone, and scanning it will allow you to skip the line when you arrive in Hell.
Have a good time, fellas!